Prompt: How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
(Author: Martha Mihalick)
Beginning in college and through my 20's, I didn't really have that many girlfriends. Most of my really good friends were male. I'm not really sure why. My best friend in high school was Pam and we understood each other. Neither of us were close with a lot of female friends and I think that was one of the things that helped us become so close. Through the years, Pam and I stayed close even if there was significant amount of time between visits. But most of my day-to day friends were still men. After I got married, my husband was my best friend. After my divorce, the friends that helped me through were also male. I like men! What can I say? I married another one and this one is a keeper, but there is one key difference this time.
Over the last few years, I developed relationships for the first time with a number of female friends. Oddly enough, it was through the Internet. The stigma attached to virtual friends has pretty much gone away but I would sometimes feel a bit embarrassed to say that the people I interacted with most were online. Introducing the idea of online friends to my husband (boyfriend at the time) was interesting and he had to get accustomed to the idea that my confidants were via email and we shared a lot! That eventually changed and I met most of my online friends in person. Now we are friends in real life who stay in touch through the Internet. (OK, it's a bit of a subtle nuance but work with me.)
Where is all this leading and does it have anything to do with the prompt? Well yes, it does. I think that I appreciate the female friends I have more every day. Maybe it's my age or the place I am in life but I have come to appreciate the ability to reach out to any one of them any time of the day or night and know that when they check their inbox, I'll hear back from them. I have learned a lot from these ladies, from the serious to the silly. My changing perspective on these relationships has been gradual but every now and then, there's a burst of insight not previously considered. This year especially, as many of us have had some serious matters to handle and some major changes in our lives, their constant love and support has changed my perspective on a number of things. Most of all, my perspective on friendship in general and female friendship in particular.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
#reverb10 - December 15 5 Minutes
Prompt: Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
(Author: Patti Digh)
An amazing trip in April to the Mohonk Mountain House. Beautiful place, old style charm, wonderful setting, totally pampered.
The day my daughter chose Temple University over three other schools and I knew it was the right decision for her. And it was!
A most amazing graduation party to celebrate my daughter's high school graduation. It wasn't the occasion, it was the amazing mix of people -- friends, family, in-laws, ex-laws, etc. all together
A great trip to the beach with my husband and my daughter. Great food! A lot of laughs! Getting stuck in the rain.
The day we dropped my daughter off at college. Sad, but exciting.
When I finally got my mother to agree to see a doctor after many years of not going. I didn't realize how heavily it weighed on me until I felt the relief of her going.
The night that my class of historic preservation students "got it" and began jumping in with ideas for case study solutions that were right on target. What teaching is all about.
Preparing the house for Christmas in anticipation of my daughter coming home from college. Remembering how I felt that first year that I came home and the house was all decorated and smelled good and I was so happy to be home.
(Author: Patti Digh)
An amazing trip in April to the Mohonk Mountain House. Beautiful place, old style charm, wonderful setting, totally pampered.
The day my daughter chose Temple University over three other schools and I knew it was the right decision for her. And it was!
A most amazing graduation party to celebrate my daughter's high school graduation. It wasn't the occasion, it was the amazing mix of people -- friends, family, in-laws, ex-laws, etc. all together
A great trip to the beach with my husband and my daughter. Great food! A lot of laughs! Getting stuck in the rain.
The day we dropped my daughter off at college. Sad, but exciting.
When I finally got my mother to agree to see a doctor after many years of not going. I didn't realize how heavily it weighed on me until I felt the relief of her going.
The night that my class of historic preservation students "got it" and began jumping in with ideas for case study solutions that were right on target. What teaching is all about.
Preparing the house for Christmas in anticipation of my daughter coming home from college. Remembering how I felt that first year that I came home and the house was all decorated and smelled good and I was so happy to be home.
#reverb10 - December 14 Appreciate
Prompt: What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
(Author: Victoria Klein)
We have to be vigilent in our day to day lives to not miss opportunities that present themselves to us. They are everywhere. Sometimes though, they are disguised as something that is frustrating or overwhelming. Other times, they are downright distasteful. This year, I have tried very hard to embrace the opportunities that are offered to me. I'm not adverse to change but like most humans, I like knowing who I am and where I'm going. When I was a kid, I hated coloring outside the lines and would often reject a picture I was working on because I used the wrong color in the wrong place or got outside the lines. My mother is an artist. Her work is very meticulous and precise. She taught me early about color choices and shading. Yes, shading with my box of 64 crayons. Coloring brought me great pleasure but I was definitely a conformist. I didn't like when my friends would use the wrong color in my coloring books. Trees were green, not blue, the sun was yellow, not orange.
Is this what molded me into someone who doesn't embrace an idea or opportunity that seems outside the lines? I think I have spent a bit too much time worrying about what I think other people think I should be doing or saying. And along the way, I missed a number of opportunties. Recently, I have been working on saying "no" more often in an attempt to make my life more managable. But I have also been saying "yes" more often. Yes, to something new or different. For the most part, it has worked out pretty well.
As a result, I have become much more aware and thankful for the many opportunities I have. I think the best way to show gratitude for an opportunity is to take it. What have you got to lose? It may be a risk, but if you're successful, the result can be pretty wonderful.
I am very grateful for the ability to make my own decisions and seize an opportunity when it presents itself. It makes a world of difference in my outlook on life.
(Author: Victoria Klein)
We have to be vigilent in our day to day lives to not miss opportunities that present themselves to us. They are everywhere. Sometimes though, they are disguised as something that is frustrating or overwhelming. Other times, they are downright distasteful. This year, I have tried very hard to embrace the opportunities that are offered to me. I'm not adverse to change but like most humans, I like knowing who I am and where I'm going. When I was a kid, I hated coloring outside the lines and would often reject a picture I was working on because I used the wrong color in the wrong place or got outside the lines. My mother is an artist. Her work is very meticulous and precise. She taught me early about color choices and shading. Yes, shading with my box of 64 crayons. Coloring brought me great pleasure but I was definitely a conformist. I didn't like when my friends would use the wrong color in my coloring books. Trees were green, not blue, the sun was yellow, not orange.
Is this what molded me into someone who doesn't embrace an idea or opportunity that seems outside the lines? I think I have spent a bit too much time worrying about what I think other people think I should be doing or saying. And along the way, I missed a number of opportunties. Recently, I have been working on saying "no" more often in an attempt to make my life more managable. But I have also been saying "yes" more often. Yes, to something new or different. For the most part, it has worked out pretty well.
As a result, I have become much more aware and thankful for the many opportunities I have. I think the best way to show gratitude for an opportunity is to take it. What have you got to lose? It may be a risk, but if you're successful, the result can be pretty wonderful.
I am very grateful for the ability to make my own decisions and seize an opportunity when it presents itself. It makes a world of difference in my outlook on life.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
#reverb10 - December 13 ACTION
PROMPT: When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)
Ideas. Yes, I have lots of ideas. Quilts I want to make, knitting skills I want to master, books I want to write, things I want to improve. Putting those ideas into action is the real challenge. In case you are just now reading this blog for the first time, procrastination is my middle name. Lots of idea coupled with procrastination does not result in lot of progress.
It doesn't stop me from dreaming, though. I make lists and plans and try different methods to shake myself out of the routine of NOT doing. But I am often not successful. Lately, however, I have been working very hard on putting into action the ideas I have and I can honestly say it has been only somewhat successful, but immensely rewarding.
For example, the decision to participate in #reverb10 was very impulsive. I have wanted to get into a strong habit of writing every day. It was one of the reaons that I started the blog so many years ago but I wrote many blog posts in my head, not so many on the keyboard. So using one of my favorite bloggers as inspiration (Thank you Shauna!) , I decided to just go for it. The one thing in my favor was that I found out about it on November 30, so I had to put it into practice immediately. I have been pretty faithful (although I'm currently a day behind) and the expereince has been awesome for. me. It doesn't matter to me if anyone reads it. I'm not concerned about it being perfect. It feels good to do it and I can already see an improvement in my writing. I stared out using too many cliches and overused the word "so" and I have pretty much stopped those two things. Baby steps... (Hmmm, is "baby steps" a cliche?)
I think turning your ideas into aspirations and taking the next step comes down to a very simple task. Just sit your butt down and do it (with apologies to Nike who don't want you to sit your butt down). I feel like my success (so far) with this exercise has spilled over into other areas of my life and I'm making some good progress. I really want to sustain this momentum and I like the feeling it gives me. After all, being happy with yourself is more than half the battle....(those goes a cliche again). Oh well, old habits die hard! Stop it! I'll do better tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day! (OK, that shouldn't as a cliche... it's a quote from a movie!) Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Ideas. Yes, I have lots of ideas. Quilts I want to make, knitting skills I want to master, books I want to write, things I want to improve. Putting those ideas into action is the real challenge. In case you are just now reading this blog for the first time, procrastination is my middle name. Lots of idea coupled with procrastination does not result in lot of progress.
It doesn't stop me from dreaming, though. I make lists and plans and try different methods to shake myself out of the routine of NOT doing. But I am often not successful. Lately, however, I have been working very hard on putting into action the ideas I have and I can honestly say it has been only somewhat successful, but immensely rewarding.
For example, the decision to participate in #reverb10 was very impulsive. I have wanted to get into a strong habit of writing every day. It was one of the reaons that I started the blog so many years ago but I wrote many blog posts in my head, not so many on the keyboard. So using one of my favorite bloggers as inspiration (Thank you Shauna!) , I decided to just go for it. The one thing in my favor was that I found out about it on November 30, so I had to put it into practice immediately. I have been pretty faithful (although I'm currently a day behind) and the expereince has been awesome for. me. It doesn't matter to me if anyone reads it. I'm not concerned about it being perfect. It feels good to do it and I can already see an improvement in my writing. I stared out using too many cliches and overused the word "so" and I have pretty much stopped those two things. Baby steps... (Hmmm, is "baby steps" a cliche?)
I think turning your ideas into aspirations and taking the next step comes down to a very simple task. Just sit your butt down and do it (with apologies to Nike who don't want you to sit your butt down). I feel like my success (so far) with this exercise has spilled over into other areas of my life and I'm making some good progress. I really want to sustain this momentum and I like the feeling it gives me. After all, being happy with yourself is more than half the battle....(those goes a cliche again). Oh well, old habits die hard! Stop it! I'll do better tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day! (OK, that shouldn't as a cliche... it's a quote from a movie!) Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Monday, December 13, 2010
#reverb 10 December 12 – Body Integration
This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
(Author: Patrick Reynolds)
I think one of the most surprising things about getting older is the way your body lets you know that you are aging. I am happy to still be active and able to do the things I want to do but a hard day of physical work makes for a less than stellar morning the next day. An old knee injury from my youth screams at me every now and then and I hate that I can no longer sit cross-legged on the floor. I still do it sometime, but it's not a good thing.
However, earlier this year, while preparing for a big event at our house, we (my husband and I) spent a full week working around the house, primarily outside. There was a lot of cleaning and moving things inside. Old furniture was hauled to the dumpster, new furniture was arranged. The yard work included trimming bushes, pulling weeds, cleaning up yard waste, some planting of flowers and a whole lot of weed-whacking. Each day we got up, reviewed our list, began our day and worked until evening. We cooked dinner together, mostly on the grill, relaxed and went to bed for a great night of sleep and rose again the next morning to do it all again.
Motivated by the end goal, excited each day by the progress and enjoying the long break from my regular job behind a desk, I really felt alive.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
#reverb 10 - Day 11 11 Things
What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?
(Author: Sam Davidson)
I have lots of things in my life to get rid of both physically and emotionally so I think I will just list them one by one.
1. Clutter!!! In what is supposed to be the greatest electronic age, I still have way too much paper in my life. With at least four laptop crashes in the last two years, I guess old habits die hard. I didn't even lose anything in my crashes except a few emails because I double, triple and quadruple back up now but I still like the feel of paper. I will try and divest myself of a lot in 2011 which should make finding the important papers way easier.
2. Clothes that don't fit! I have essentially been the same size now for almost 6 years. Why do I still hold onto things that are both too big and too small. By the time I get to one of those others sizes, what I have will be so out of date that I won't wear it anyway. Hopefully the clothing bank won't make comments on the out of dateness of my donations. My closet and my attic will be happy and so will I.
3. Knitting and Quilting UFO's (Unfinished Objects)! I don't want to get rid of them but I do want to finish them thereby changing their status to "finished object" rather than "unfinished object". I fear this may have been a plan for the last several years. Achieving this goal, if only by a little, will make me spend less time thinking about knitting and quilting and more time actually doing it.
4. The pile of unread books! Once again I don't necessarily want to get rid of them but I'd like to turn them from unread books to read books. At that point I can decide which ones to keep. I love to read but I don't make it a priority. My goal is to see a new book when I'm shopping and be able to buy it and come home and start reading it instead of adding it to the pile. That would feel wonderful.
5. Procrastination! I think this word is my arch-enemy. It gets blamed for everything. It is the distant unattainable answer to all my problems. I resolve to eliminate using the word procrastination as an excuse and to just carefully choose the things I will do without any guilt.
6. The phrase "yes, no problem"! This is a phrase I utter without thinking even when there really IS a problem. I guess there are time when I can use this term without a little ping of dread. But saying it less or eliminating it altogether coupled with embracing the word "no" would feel pretty great!
7. Excuses! These are not the traditional explanations for why something did not get done. These are the evil little voices in my head that justify not doing something that would be good for me, good for my relationship and good for my soul. This will be a hard one but it would be a terrific accomplishment.
8. A Volunteer Job! I won't go into the specifics here but it is time for me to move on from a task that I haven't done well, continue to agree to do, resolve to do better and then feel guilty when I don't. The overwhelming feeling of relief will be wonderful. The first step is already in motion. Fingers crossed that I don't cave at the last minute.
9. Sugar! I know that sugar is not good for my energy level or general feeling of wellness yet I struggle all the time with letting sugar AND artificial sweetener alone. I know that you can't eliminate all sugar but when I significantly reduce my intake, I feel better. In a only a day or two my craving goes away. It is a magical fleeting moment...soon it creeps back in and takes hold. This is one of those goals that reminds me of the Japanese saying, "Fall down seven times, get up eight." That is what I'm going to do.
10. Wasting Time! I think this may go hand in hand with procrastination. I do believe that everyone needs time to relax and recharge. That is not a waste of time but there are any number of things that do waste time and I'd like to eliminate them. This should have a positive effect on my ability to get things done in a timely manner.
11. Guilt!!!!! This is the big one. The one that came to mind first but I forced to be last. I would like to eliminate the feeling of guilt that comes roaring in on every aspect of my life. Just let it go!
These 11 eliminations are in random order, just as I thought them up with the exception of number 11. If I truly succeed in any of these task, I will be very thankful. Eliminating things, even those that are bad for you is tough!
(Author: Sam Davidson)
I have lots of things in my life to get rid of both physically and emotionally so I think I will just list them one by one.
1. Clutter!!! In what is supposed to be the greatest electronic age, I still have way too much paper in my life. With at least four laptop crashes in the last two years, I guess old habits die hard. I didn't even lose anything in my crashes except a few emails because I double, triple and quadruple back up now but I still like the feel of paper. I will try and divest myself of a lot in 2011 which should make finding the important papers way easier.
2. Clothes that don't fit! I have essentially been the same size now for almost 6 years. Why do I still hold onto things that are both too big and too small. By the time I get to one of those others sizes, what I have will be so out of date that I won't wear it anyway. Hopefully the clothing bank won't make comments on the out of dateness of my donations. My closet and my attic will be happy and so will I.
3. Knitting and Quilting UFO's (Unfinished Objects)! I don't want to get rid of them but I do want to finish them thereby changing their status to "finished object" rather than "unfinished object". I fear this may have been a plan for the last several years. Achieving this goal, if only by a little, will make me spend less time thinking about knitting and quilting and more time actually doing it.
4. The pile of unread books! Once again I don't necessarily want to get rid of them but I'd like to turn them from unread books to read books. At that point I can decide which ones to keep. I love to read but I don't make it a priority. My goal is to see a new book when I'm shopping and be able to buy it and come home and start reading it instead of adding it to the pile. That would feel wonderful.
5. Procrastination! I think this word is my arch-enemy. It gets blamed for everything. It is the distant unattainable answer to all my problems. I resolve to eliminate using the word procrastination as an excuse and to just carefully choose the things I will do without any guilt.
6. The phrase "yes, no problem"! This is a phrase I utter without thinking even when there really IS a problem. I guess there are time when I can use this term without a little ping of dread. But saying it less or eliminating it altogether coupled with embracing the word "no" would feel pretty great!
7. Excuses! These are not the traditional explanations for why something did not get done. These are the evil little voices in my head that justify not doing something that would be good for me, good for my relationship and good for my soul. This will be a hard one but it would be a terrific accomplishment.
8. A Volunteer Job! I won't go into the specifics here but it is time for me to move on from a task that I haven't done well, continue to agree to do, resolve to do better and then feel guilty when I don't. The overwhelming feeling of relief will be wonderful. The first step is already in motion. Fingers crossed that I don't cave at the last minute.
9. Sugar! I know that sugar is not good for my energy level or general feeling of wellness yet I struggle all the time with letting sugar AND artificial sweetener alone. I know that you can't eliminate all sugar but when I significantly reduce my intake, I feel better. In a only a day or two my craving goes away. It is a magical fleeting moment...soon it creeps back in and takes hold. This is one of those goals that reminds me of the Japanese saying, "Fall down seven times, get up eight." That is what I'm going to do.
10. Wasting Time! I think this may go hand in hand with procrastination. I do believe that everyone needs time to relax and recharge. That is not a waste of time but there are any number of things that do waste time and I'd like to eliminate them. This should have a positive effect on my ability to get things done in a timely manner.
11. Guilt!!!!! This is the big one. The one that came to mind first but I forced to be last. I would like to eliminate the feeling of guilt that comes roaring in on every aspect of my life. Just let it go!
These 11 eliminations are in random order, just as I thought them up with the exception of number 11. If I truly succeed in any of these task, I will be very thankful. Eliminating things, even those that are bad for you is tough!
Friday, December 10, 2010
#reverb10 - Day 10 Wisdom
Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
(Author: Susannah Conway)
I think I am very wise. I am so wise that I know exactly what I need to do to improve my life, win friends, influence people and have lovely shiny hair and a super firm, fit body. Everyday I wake up with a strong resolve to work on all those things: procrastination, organization, fitness and exercise. Each day is different. Some days, my firm resolve lasts until almost 10:00 AM, other days I forget it by the time I step into the shower.
How can someone as wise as me be incapable of taking my own advice?
Isn't this depressing? No, thank God or I would be a basket case. I would rather think of each day as a clean slate, where I can take the lessons I have learned and combine them with the desires that I have and I can put one foot in front of the other and take a step or two or ten or a hundred or even 10,000 as fitness gurus suggest we should. If I falter, all is not lost. You can pick up and start again.
The wisest decision I have made this year is the same decision I make every day. Try to make each day better than the last and take the lessons you have learned along the way and try to not make the same mistakes again. But most important of all, just keep on trying using what you know to get someplace you want to be.
(Author: Susannah Conway)
I think I am very wise. I am so wise that I know exactly what I need to do to improve my life, win friends, influence people and have lovely shiny hair and a super firm, fit body. Everyday I wake up with a strong resolve to work on all those things: procrastination, organization, fitness and exercise. Each day is different. Some days, my firm resolve lasts until almost 10:00 AM, other days I forget it by the time I step into the shower.
How can someone as wise as me be incapable of taking my own advice?
Isn't this depressing? No, thank God or I would be a basket case. I would rather think of each day as a clean slate, where I can take the lessons I have learned and combine them with the desires that I have and I can put one foot in front of the other and take a step or two or ten or a hundred or even 10,000 as fitness gurus suggest we should. If I falter, all is not lost. You can pick up and start again.
The wisest decision I have made this year is the same decision I make every day. Try to make each day better than the last and take the lessons you have learned along the way and try to not make the same mistakes again. But most important of all, just keep on trying using what you know to get someplace you want to be.
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