Sunday, December 5, 2010

#reverb10 - Day 5 Let Go

PROMPT:  What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

Let go and let God.  It's a simple prayer for those times when you just don't know what to do to manage the thing over which you have no control.  Why do we wait until we've tried everything else without success before we let go...and let God?  This is not meant to be preachy in any way.  It just seems that we have to be at the end of our rope awash in frustration or anger or sorrow before we can force ourselves to "let go".  

I'm a Lutheran these days after spending most of my life as a Catholic.  It may be a cliche but I think I developed a great deal of Catholic guilt while I was learning the stations of the cross and praying the rosary.  I can easily convince myself that all things that are wrong in life are my fault in some way.  Someone is fault.  A change in routine at work that is not going over fault.  The destruction of the Amazon rain fault.  OK, I'm not sure I can really justify that one but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty.  

I suffer from a bit of an over-zealous habit to please everyone.    I overextend myself regularly to make sure all the details are under control so that every thing is "perfect" and everyone is getting whatever it is that they need.  Sadly, sometimes, to the point where I'm the one that isn't happy. 

So if recognizing you have a problem is the beginning of the solution, what have I done to let things (anything, something) go?  I haven't completely figured it out yet, but I have come a long way in the last year in not planning everything to within an inch of its life.  I like when things go as I have visioned them in my mind.  But alas, things seldom go as planned.  I have worked really hard this year to accept the changes that are inevitable.  Recently, my carefully made plans for a weekend changed at least seven times before Friday arrived.  As each issue arose that lead to the change, I quickly adapted and starting planning again.  I don't think I'll ever be able to get beyond the need to over-plan even the contingency plan but I have come a long way in how I react to the change.

I declare that a good step in letting go.   


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